Secrets and Drama

Do you ever feel like your friends are keeping secrets from you?  I do.  I know when I am right about things and I just want to blurt out "TELL ME & I CAN TRY TO HELP YOU!" but I always keep my mouth shut because I know its the smarter thing to do.  basically because I can be kind of a gossip guy.  LOL  But there are somethings that I know about certain people that I would never tell anyone, no matter who they are!    Mostly all my friends I can trust, but there are a few who have proved over the past two months that they can't be trusted or even be considered as a friend.    I just wish they would realize that one day they are going to wake up to no friends, no life, and no one to tell.   Then there is another friend who just needs to GROW UP!  He needs to realize that he is acting like a child and needs a reality check, I'm not exactly an "adult" but I know what it takes to be one and being stupid and wasting money on things that aren't significant to life its just stupid and pointless.  

Drama.  wow.  that word just OOOZES many other words and thoughts and feelings.  I have things going on in my life that are as dramatic as one of the Award winning movies at this years Golden Globes.  LOL  I feel like I need my own MTV reality series called "The Streets" or something like that!  Well, since i don't really feel like saying what is really on my mind just yet i think i shall retire.   Till next time....

These things with change, can you feel it now?

ITS A NEW YEAR!  YAY!

I am not sure if I am glad that 2008 is over.  I feel like that chapter of my life should still be going on, like things haven't been finished that need to be.  Maybe that is what 2009 will be for?  maybe they are not supposed to be finished?  I just feel like there are a few people that don't realize what they have missed by ignoring me.  So, i am making it a must for this year to make those people know what they have missed and wish they had been with me last year.  Who knows what will happen.  HAHA  

On a lighter note,  my friend Alicia and I went to go see Doubt today.  It was AMAZING!  The story was very compelling and it kept me on edge.  There were a bunch of great one-liners and there was an amazing metaphor used to describe gossip.  I need to see it again. LOL  I highly advise seeing it!!!  

Still not Christmassy

Well, its Christmas Eve.  I am sitting here looking at the presents under our tree and still not feeling like I should.  Tradition says I should be at my Grandpa Leo's house opening gifts and visiting with cousin that i see twice a year and thats about it. HAHA I don't like breaking tradition and that is what is happening.  It makes me mad, sad, depressed.  Hopefully tomorrow, Christmas, will be better.   

Where Are You Christmas?

So, today I was sitting in my room watching the Grand Ole Opry and i realized something, I am not in the Christmas Spirit AT ALL!!!  I don't know what it is.  My friend Josh told me something very interesting. He said that i have made Christmas "a job" and i think he is SPOT ON!  Every year i try and make everyone happy and make it "the most wonderful time of the year" and this year I just DON'T FEEL LIKE TRYING ANYMORE!!!  Is it because of family issues?  Is it school?  Is it friends?  

Family....ugh...i don't even like talking about it. The subject of family recently has just made me realize that my family is just as screwed up as everyone else's, if not worse.   I know i shouldn't say that, but its what i feel....should i feel that way?  Being around them feels like a big joke! Like everyone's emotions are a "mask" they put on for the day just so they can stand being around family.  Ugh........i just don't know........I just really feel not ready for the holidays yet, like it needs to be later.    

Friends....another issue....i love my friends, they are my life support. HAHA Recently I just haven't been able to see any of them, except Jess (LOVE YOU!!!).   I feel like all my friends are too busy to do anything....all of them have jobs, school, boyfriends or girlfriends to hang out with, and i seem to be at the bottom of their list....I know they all care about me, but come on, i have been your friend longer than any of those excuses. 

I need to watch a movie or something so i can just CRY my feeling out....but even as i write i feel as if i can't cry a single tear...i more so could scream and tell my family to get a grip and to some specific people to GET A LIFE....i know, thats mean, but its the truth.  

Advice? Anyone?  HELP!

Somethings coming, something soon...

So, i have neglected my blog for almost the last month. HAHAHA typical me.  I really haven't been up to much, just the same old routine of going to school, coming home, watching TV and occasionally having practice.  The only thing that has changed since last time I wrote was that I have gotten to know my friend Ryan alot better.  We talk all the time. HAHAHA School is going great, I haven't really felt like i have been there, recently at least.   My mind is in other places and thoughts of more important things are my main brain wave i've been riding recently.  I really can't wait for school to be done with, just because there is going to be some major changes with myself I feel.   I am planning on going to Brazil for a month, probably June-July time.  So basically I will (hopefully) finish The Wedding Singer at eastlight theater and then a few days later i would leave, by myself, for Brazil.  Nervous, YES I AM.  Ready to discover who I am, YES I AM!   

Someone has recently caught my eye, its complicated but I think we are going to work everything out just fine! :)  They are perfect for me, so far at least.  Im sure they will show that they care for me more in the future, hence the changing soon....

Im nervous for the future, I know I shouldn't be because HE has my future already planned out, but I am nervous for where it will take me and what I will be doing....

Sooo...

I have been neglecting the blog the past week or so, I know, BAD!  I just haven't been in the mood to write.  SO saturday was the busiest day EVER! I had to take the ACT and I didn't get done with that until 12:30 or whatever. Then i had the halloween party that night! It was fun going in drag. LOL  SO basically its Thursday and tomorrow is Halloween!  I am planning on going to see the movie Changeling with my cousin and her husband.  The movie is rated R and my parents are freaking out, its not like I would go see a movie with a bunch of naked people running around!!!  So i am waiting for the reviews to come out, even though i have my hands on a few of them... 

Well, basically my life is the same old same old and will be until November 20th. HAHA

Memories

So today was one of those days that you will remember forever!  Jess and I had choir and after we always go to lunch and to the mall and waste time before play practice.  Jess was wearing her scarf today and when we got out of the car she started walking and she got it stuck in the door and she basically fell backwards. HAHA  that was only the beginning to our eventful day. LOL  We went to the mall and got Orange Chicken (codeword) and the lady behind the counter was chinese and we couldn't understand her AT ALL so we kept having to say Excuse Me and Pardon. LOL i had to walk away because i almost started to laugh and Jess just gave me a look. LOL  So the rest of the afternoon we shopped and laughed and laughed.  So basically it was a fun day that will go down in history for the both of us. HAHA